Saturday, February 26, 2011

Awkward moments ... and more winners!

We all have them.

Moments when something makes us feel uncomfortable and/or a wee bit embarassed. (Pun intended!)

For Black Eyed Peas singer Fergie, it was probably the moment she peed herself on stage.

Though she initially claimed it was sweat (good try Hon), Fergie later admitted she'd had a few pre-concert drinks but forgotten to go to the loo. (I've said it before and I'll say again: Always Go Before You Go. I rest my case.)

Anyway, while I can't claim to have peed in front of thousands of people, there was a time in Thailand when I was forced to use a stranger's loo.

Yes, a combination of Bangkok Belly (actually it was Phuket, but you get the idea), and a tour where few toilet stops were included mingled horribly.

We were at a rubber plantation, when I desperately needed to erm, relieve myself.

Turned out there weren't any public loos, so I was invited to go inside one of the worker's homes to use the facilities. Which as anyone who has been to Thailand know, are really different to ours.

Anyway, I eventually worked out what went where, did what came naturally, and came out feeling better but a little embarassed, particularly as I'm pretty sure I was tapdancing as I waited to go inside.

 Oh the relief! A few tummy bug tablets and a lot of self-control later, I managed to complete the trip without embarrassing myself further. And it was awkward, because I was still in the honeymoon stage of my relationship at the time - you know, the stage where you don't wee, poo or heaven forbid, fart, in front of each other. God forbid if I was to show my partner I was Human.

Of course, there have been loads of other embarrassing moments in my life:
  • My first 'real' kiss. Oh the excruciating embarrassment, as teeth and tongues got in the way, and I wondered what all the fuss was about.
  • Giving birth for the first time - although it go to the stage where I didn't care about my dignity any more!
  • The time post-giving birth when a gorgeous surfie-dude medical student with long blonde hair and tanned skin, stitched me up and people kept coming in to look because they hadn't seen a third grade tear AND an episiotomy in one go before. And probably a cool surfie dude in the same room. Yeah, go on, knock yourself out. After all, it seemed like everyone else in the hospital had taken a look at my lady parts, so what were a few more!
  • The time a uni lecturer told me I looked like a French actress, in front of the class. What was with that?
  • The time I went out shopping in a new summery dress and wondered why everyone was looking and smiling at me. When I got home my partner at the time told me the dress was see-through! D'oh! (And Mum always told me to wear a petticoat!)
  • The time when I was giving an author's speech to promote my book and because I hadn't had much time to prepare, I suffered an attack of the nerves and began shaking visibly. Even my voice was shaky, and the facilitator eventually put me out of my misery by taking over ahead of my finishing time.
I got to thinking about awkward moments the other day, when I was enjoying a fabulous massage by a lady at one of the Asian massage places you see at shopping centres these days.

She was getting into the knots in my shoulders with gusto when I suddenly realised, she was resting on my arse. Not only that, she had one hand on one side of my arse and was Pulling The Cheeks Apart as she worked on my back with her other hand.

I'm used to having masseuses get into tight spots in my butt before - hey, it's amazing how much tension we hold in there! But leaning on it and pulling the cheeks apart was just a little too awkward for me.

Readers, what makes you feel awkward?

In the meantime, I am pleased to announce the winners of my recent giveaways.
The prize: An Aden + Anais Dream Blanket.
As worn by the celebrity babies of people like Jamie and Jools Oliver, Gwen Stefani, Jennifer Gardner, and our own Isla Fisher,  the Aden + Anais Dream blanket is made of natural, gentle muslin, and feature colourful, modern prints. Used by mothers around the world to help create sweet dreams.
The blankets retail for AUD $44.95, and Aden + Anais are also throwing in a copy of founder Raegan Moya Jones's beauitful book Swaddle Love, valued at $24.95.
The lucky winner of this gorgeous prize is @babycakequeen, who deserves to have something lovely to bring her third baby home in a few months.
Good luck Amanda! I hope this pregnancy and the arrival of your little boy or girl goes a lot more smoothly than your previous births, and I really hope the special blankie helps your baby get some sweet dreams.
As you know, Australian publishing house Finch Publishing have given us a wonderful pack of four books, that will be perfect for a new parent or one hoping to become one.
The books are:
•When the Bough Breaks, by Joanne Jones - a memoir about one women's journey to self acceptance after IVF failed and she was unable to have children. RRP $29.95.
•Helping Your Baby to Sleep, 2nd edition, by Anni Gethin and Beth Macgregor. RRP $29.95. Everything a parent needs to know to help their baby to sleep.
•Cocktails at Naptime, by Gillian Martina and Emma Kaufmann - A light hearted look at the joys and tribulations of early motherhood. RRP $29.95
•Diary of a First Time Mum, by Nicole Hall - An amusing record of the unpredictable life of a new mum, complete with doubts, delights and sleep deprivation. RRP $26.95.

The lucky winner is @vegiemumma. Hope you enjoy the books darling.
Please email or DM me so that I can organise to send your prizes to you.

Finally, Sony Pictures Australia, who are one of my favourite sponsors, have give MIA a wonderful prize pack. 

There's a double pass to Battle: Los Angeles, a fabulous new movie which hits our screen on March 17, plus a handy compass tool and compass base plate.

To win, simply comment below with your most awkward or embarrassing moment. Winners announced on Friday March 4. Sorry Aussie, prize is valid for Australian residents only. 


Veggie Mama said...

Wow!! Thank you!!!! I dearly love books :)

And six years later we still don't fart... as far as he knows, girls don't poop either ;)

Lady Estrogen said...

Ugh.. I feel you with those moments! I lost all shame early on, due to the fact that I went to a "teaching" hospital like frickin' ER or Grey's Anatomy. I had 6 doctors taking notes and god know how many else behind the 1-way mirror at my FIRST pap smear at the rip old age of 14. Did I mention the intern they allowed to do it put in the retractor the WRONG angle as well? It was awful.

Toni said...

My MOST awkward moment would be when I had to have a cervical biopsy due to having a pre-cancerous cervix.
The doctor (male) cut a chunk out of my cervix with a hot wire loop and then said he would 'plug any bleeding' with a tampon.
Ummm... hello? what?

So the nurse and I had to give him INSTRUCTIONS on how to unwrap the thing, and then insert it and dear God, I've gone all hot and cold just remembering it.
Awkward aint the word.

Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella said...

Haha you are so funny Bronnie! LOL about that masseur and the lecturer!

traceyb65 said...

ain't hospitals a b!tch? after a week in intensive care following a ripsnorter of an asthma attack, a group of medical students were attending rounds, and i was asked to lift my pj top for the doctor. did those students really expect me to be wearing a demure white bra after a week in respiratory hell? i can safely predict that the half of the students whose faces fell when my breasts came into full view NEVER MADE IT through medical school. at least, i hope they didn't, that would be SO embarrassing …

Beet said...

I remember looking up at one stage during the pushing stage of my first labour only to discover an extra dozen people in the room all watching with interest. Luckily for them I was a little distracted at the time :\

Life In A Pink Fibro said...

So many awkward moments in my awkward life that I don't know where to begin...

Visiting via the Rewind.

Maxabella said...

I hadn't heard about Fergie! Poor love. Black pants are the way to go!!

Life can be excruciating, but we've just gotta laugh and get on with it. Character building! x