I haven't had a man fondle me in a bar for a Very Long Time.
His broad, warm hands, gently caressed my shoulders, occasionally gently lifting my hair up to better touch my neck.
Suddenly, I felt his warm breath on my ear:
'Is it okay for you?' he whispered. 'How's the pressure?'
OMG, it was more than okay for me and the pressure was fine.
Before you think I was up to anything naughty (as if!), I was at the GSK Welcome to Wanderlust at the historic Aussie Bloggers Conference in Sydney.
GSK stands for GlaxoSmithKline and they are represented by Naked Communications in Sydney.
They invited myself and a cross-section of 'influential bloggers' (preen) to a pre-conference event in Sydney to welcome Wanderlust to Australia.
We also had the opportunity to check out some of their products - like Ribena jelly cups, panadol, and Macleans toothpaste for sensitive teeth. (Holy crap, I need that toothpaste by the bucket load thanks to grinding and clenching my teeth instead of punching people in the head when warranted).
My fave part was that GSK have a wholistic approach to health and wanted to spoil the bloggers, particularly the mummies who rarely get any time out.
They laid on two handsome masseuses, to work out the knots in our sore shoulders, necks, and backs; and a reflexologist to sort out the kinks in our feet.
The finger food was divine, including mini duck pancakes, prawns, and my favourite, scallops served in their shells.
Then it was off to the Soho Bar for the Nuffnang ice-breaker welcome session.
I've not been to a bar/nightclub for a very long time.
We all put our GSK goodie bags next to the wall, supposedly so we could dance, but we were too busy talking.
A couple of peeps - not naming anyone Mrs Woogs - decided to cavort on the massive bed that was in the middle of our room. (I could have quite happily crawled into it and gone to sleep, but I don't get out much any more).
I was one of the first to leave, mainly because I'd been up since 4 am, and I don't do cocktails these days (I know, unbelievable but true).
I was told I'd never get a cab, and Sydney by dark, with strangers spilling out of bars is a much more intimidating place than by day, so I was figuring my route home when I left. Totally forgetting my GSK 'prolly best bag ever' goodie bags. D'Oh!
However, the good news was I got a cab and was sleeping in that nice big hotel bed, under crisp sheets totally and blissfully alone before I knew it!
Next morning, I turned up to register at the conference, and was warmly welcomed by fellow bloggers and around 200 cupcakes that the lovely @FaeraeSarah had made for us all.
I can't even begin to explain how wonderful the day and night that followed was. It was fun, informative, warm, supportive, and not at all bitchy or boring.
And it gave me hope that one day, I may just make money either from my blog or by blogging. Or both.
I've been to loads of conferences, but this was easily the most user-friendly and fun one, and the delegates were all angels ... Mostly female, a few more devilish, and a few brave males as well.
And I met so many wonderful people, who were just as fab - if not more awesome - than they appear to be on their blogs and/or on twitter.
I barely spent a moment in my big bed (damn) and I came home exhausted, but my goodness, I met some fabulous people and reinforced friendships already made online.
And you know what? The blogging community, at least in Australia, is a REAL community. Just as real as anything you have via work, your kids' school, uni, mother's group, sport, or anything else.
I knew most of these people before I had even met them. And they knew me. We knew each other's fears and foibles before we even met. If that makes sense.
Sometimes we didn't know or forgot each others' real names - Glowless, NDM, and Sawhole for example. But the squeals and hugs when we realised who belonged to which blog and twitter handle were so genuine.
The few men attending were handsome and clever, so I felt too shy to approach any of them. (Yes I am a grown-up).
So imagine my mixture of embarrassment and pleasure when the two handsome Daves from Nuffnang sat down beside me. At the Naughty Table. After my phone had gone off during Dave @digitalee's Nuffnang talk. (The shame of it all. I SWORE I had turned it off. Stupid phone).
Seriously, if you don't have Nuffnang on your blog you need to. No one gets bloggers, especially mummy bloggers, like they do.
All too soon, AusBlogCon2011 was over, but we've all put our names down for next year.
Thanks to all the wonderful women who made it happen - you know who you are - and I'll put my hand up to help you out however I can for 2012.
Especially if it involves massages.
Ready for the
knees-up, laugh, hug and shriek fest dinner dance.