"Mum, what's Wank You meat?" asked C. I told him I there was $20 on the ground behind him, and then left him looking for it while I went off muttering something about making dinner. (C. is 10, so I suspect he knows only too well what a wank is, but gets his kicks from messing with my head.)
Anyway, I swear that's what they say on the advertisement for their latest creation, the
It's like Fuck Miss all over again.
Anyway, it got me thinking about other wanky things that have been pissing me off lately.
This list is not exhaustive, but it is an indication of how cranky I get when
- Rihanna. I hate her nasally voice, I'm over her sexy lyrics and soft porn video clips, and it really pisses me off that I have to monitor the music I listen to and/or watch because I have kids. And what's with the little girl voice when she talks, but the big, brash supposedly sexy one when she sings? You can't have it both ways babe. (Or apparently you can and do, according to your lyrics). I actually quite like her music, but I'd like to see her show what she can do without using sex to sell it.
- The KFC Double, a burger that features two different types of cheese and bacon, and replaces the bun with pieces of deep-fried chicken. Who in the hell eats something like that? According to the ads, men do. Seriously? If that's true, it's no wonder men have a higher risk of heart attacks than women!
And don't even get me started on the (also KFC) ad that has a woman urging a mate to ditch her 'pigeon food' for popcorn chicken and gravy. With friends like that, who needs enemies? (And haven't we all had them girls?)
And KFC? The Month of Manfood idea sucks. Especially when you send 'VIP' emails to female customers. So you're saying we're fat ugly pigs who eat like men? That's when we're not eating pigeon food.
Yeah, way to get us to buy your product KFC. Not.
- Shane Warne. Not just for tweeting way too much information about his relationship with Liz Hurley and her bird, but for selling out to Maccas. Forget OUR kids, what the hell kind of message is a top sportsperson sending to his kids?
- Fake Facebook girlfriends. Really? It's not so bad to be single. I cannot believe that any self-respecting man with a pair of balls would be quite so needy. Am I wrong?
(And they say women are insecure...)
Thank God that not everything in life is wanky.
* Not really