There I was, innocently sipping coffee and catching up on
Divorce Ring. (Now that I mention it do you notice the heart has been ripped in two by a diamond-studded dagger? Classy).
And for a mere US$3200, it can be yours. Plus postage from New York City. Where else?
The idea is that a girl's soon-to-be-ex will get down on bended knee and De-Propose. I can see it now. Romantic restaurants around the country, erupting in applause, as a weeping woman is asked: 'Will you divorce me?' Or as women tell their estranged partner: 'With this ring, I thee shed.'
I thought the concept might have been a quirky, one-off internet stunt. But upon further investigation, I discovered that there are Divorce Rings for men and women, with all sorts of budgets considered. You can even have a chunk cut out of your wedding ring to indicate you're divorced or in the process of getting there.
See? And the little lines can represent the number of children you have!
As the author of Happily Ever Parted (Surviving Separation and Divorce) published by New Holland Australia, I talked to several people who had celebrated their divorce with parties or even civil ceremonies where they maked this rite of passage in their lives.
And I kind of get that. After all, engagement and marriage is a huge occasion in our lives and we mark it by taking vows in front of our family and friends. It's always been a bit weird to me, that divorcees or the separated are expected to suddenly morph into their single lives without making some kind of formal statement, or setting new goals, surrounded by the people who care for them.
But a ring? Granted, a nice piece of jewellery would probably help the taste of divorce turn that little bit sweeter, but I don't think I'd be happy wearing a constant reminder of a marriage-turned-bad.
However, some newly-divorced fans say there's an argument that wannabe daters can see clearly if they're engaged or married, but not if they are Single But Fragile. Or even that 'I'm marriage material, but I'm single and available now.'
Perhaps there's even a market for a ring that says: 'I'm divorced/separated and not ready for a relationship, but I'm looking for a Friend With Benefits.'
I wonder if you'd wear your Divorce Ring on the engagement/wedding finger, or choose a whole new finger to show off your bling. Talk about giving divorce the finger!
And I think that Beyonce song totally needs a remake: If you hate it then you should have put a ring on it!