Monday, September 5, 2011

If you hate her then you better put a ring on it!

I thought it was April Fool's Day this morning.

There I was, innocently sipping coffee and catching up on twitter  Very Important Emails, when this came to my attention:
It's a gold diamond ring. But not any ring, oh no! It's a Divorce Ring. (Now that I mention it do you notice the heart has been ripped in two by a diamond-studded dagger? Classy).

And for a mere US$3200, it can be yours. Plus postage from New York City. Where else?

The idea is that a girl's soon-to-be-ex will get down on bended knee and De-Propose. I can see it now. Romantic restaurants around the country, erupting in applause, as a weeping woman is asked: 'Will you divorce me?' Or as women tell their estranged partner: 'With this ring, I thee shed.'

I thought the concept might have been a quirky, one-off internet stunt. But upon further investigation, I discovered that there are Divorce Rings for men and women, with all sorts of budgets considered. You can even have a chunk cut out of your wedding ring to indicate you're divorced or in the process of getting there.

See? And the little lines can represent the number of children you have!

As the author of Happily Ever Parted (Surviving Separation and Divorce) published by New Holland Australia, I talked to several people who had celebrated their divorce with parties or even civil ceremonies where they maked this rite of passage in their lives.

And I kind of get that. After all, engagement and marriage is a huge occasion in our lives and we mark it by taking vows in front of our family and friends. It's always been a bit weird to me, that divorcees or the separated are expected to suddenly morph into their single lives without making some kind of formal statement, or setting new goals, surrounded by the people who care for them.

But a ring? Granted, a nice piece of jewellery would probably help the taste of divorce turn that little bit sweeter, but I don't think I'd be happy wearing a constant reminder of a marriage-turned-bad.

However, some newly-divorced fans say there's an argument that wannabe daters can see clearly if they're engaged or married, but not if they are Single But Fragile. Or even that 'I'm marriage material, but I'm single and available now.'

Perhaps there's even a market for a ring that says: 'I'm divorced/separated and not ready for a relationship, but I'm looking for a Friend With Benefits.'

I wonder if you'd wear your Divorce Ring on the engagement/wedding finger, or choose a whole new finger to show off your bling. Talk about giving divorce the finger!

And I think that Beyonce song totally needs a remake: If you hate it then you should have put a ring on it!


Anonymous said...

Ewwwww I really don't like that idea (or ring) at all. Wouldn't it be better to choose a beautiful piece of jewellery marking a new start in life rather than spending OMG $3200 on a ring that did nothing but remind you of something so tough?
I had no idea they existed. A very thought provoking post indeed!

PinkPatentMaryJanes said...

Oh no - but, to be honest, at first sight I thought it was a vagina ring - and tried to work out what event that would be suitable for...

Alice Shaw said...

Oh dear. I don't like it. Divorce isn't usually a happy time. I am glad that I am divorced and that I managed to get out of an awful marriage, but I didn't celebrate it, it was the end of something that I didn't think would end. I guess it might be a good transitional thing for some people, they probably don't continue wearing the ring for ever, but it isn't something that I would have.

Jayne said...

LOL...oh for the "what will they think of next" files.

Kinda glad I have never legally married when I read about things like this!

Thea said...

I agree with Sarah.
I bought myself a gorgeous white gold and diamond heart pendant to remind me that I was now the keeper of my own heart and it wasn't going to be hurt by 'him' anymore.

"With this ring, I thee shed" hehehe

Great post.

Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella said...

Haha they really do think of something for every occasion! Remember the Me ring? That was for single ladies who didn't have partners but wanted some sort of status symbol :P

Unknown said...

Hee hee, I'm with all of you, it just seems wrong doesn't it? I must admit that this time around, I bought myself a gorgeous ring I'd admired for a long time. It had occurred to me that all the significant rings I owned had been given to me by former partners. I never even got to choose my engagement rings. This one was in my birth stone, it wasn't expensive and I thought of it as a symbol of my new life ... of having a relationship with myself and putting importance on that. A reminder never to get lost in another relationship again. I love that ring.

Keely aka The Richest Girl in Bondi said...

This has got to be a joke? Why give somebody a ring when you're going to divorce them? I much prefer the idea of buying yourself your own ring to mark your divorce and the start of a little 'me' time. Am I the only person in the world who doesn't 'check' for a ring when meeting people?

Eloise said...

wierd. one of those things that is best prefaced by 'only in America' haha. Im trying to imagine what a 'divorced but wouldn't mind the odd one night stand, no strings attached and preferably with someone half my age' ring might look like :) I came to visit from FYBF x

Anonymous said...

That's a really... unique idea and a very American concept. I think it would be a terrible reminder every time you look at your hand! What's next, a divorce tattoo?

Rukmani Krishna said...

Thats crazy. Anyways like they say 'to each his own'. I'd rather not have a divorce ring even though I love jewellery. It's bad enough going through the process and then having a momento of the past that you're trying to get away from is just plain stupid.

traceyb65 said...

that. is. vile … if they'd been a bit more generous in the relationship when things mattered they might never need such a godawful piece of trash! but i reckon buying yourself a nice piece of jewellery is a lovely idea.

great post! xt

ps. vagina ring! *snorts*

Unknown said...

Ha ha, I loved the Vagina Ring too. Maybe there is an, erm, gap in the market?