Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Dear Santa ...

Pssst.

I'm going to share a secret with you.

I've never really been comfortable with the whole Big Man In Red routine.

Don't get me wrong, I love a rotund happy guy dressed for winter in the middle of summer as much as the next person.

And I totally get why we stand in line for ages and pay huge amounts of money for a digital photo of our offspring with a shopping centre Santa. (Kinda).

Like most parents, I experience that touch of panic - and often nausea - that accompanies the yearly writing of the Letters To Santa. In my case, the all-important letters increasingly become littered with exhorbitantly-priced, impractical presents, my kids have about as much chance of getting for Christmas as I have of getting a date with George Clooney. Bearing a new Nespresso machine. And a few months' supply of my favourite blends.

But where was I?

Oh right. Santa.

You see, the thought came to me again tonight, as the kids ran through their wish list again.

(Disclaimer: They know that a wish list is just that. That they will get maybe a few off the list if they are lucky. They know that Santa and parents and family and friends can't possibly give everything. Or even a tiny percentage of their list. But there's no harm in wishing, right?)

As a single Mum, I have a very limited budget, and I tend to have to be adventurous with my presents for various occasions. So far, I've always managed to delight them. The Santa ones have made them happy too.

But this year, it's a bit more challenging. And it's not just because of the cost factor. It's because of the logistics and practicalities.

And as a Mumma, I have to face the truth (once again) that I can't give my kids everything that they want. (And even if I could, that would be wrong, right? Because that would be totally spoiling them, and turning them into brats, and no one wants that. But still, the guilt that I can't make at least some of those wishes come true hits me in the guts like a bad case of eggnog.)

Anyway, in a bid to share my angst, here are some of my Christmas angels' wishes.

For both, the obvious ones include being able to live in our old Riverhills home with me; being able to pick the mulberries from the trees at our old home; having our old pets back, Daisy, Zac, Lolly and Narnie, who we reluctantly gave up when we moved to New Zealand; Chase's friend Nick being better again; Harmonie's favourite guinea pig Star not having been eaten by the carpet snake at our old home; and moving to Western Australia.

Now for the individual lists:

Chase

Nintendo DS 3 with the 3 turned off and the DS Skylanders Games
Gaming computer
iPad
iPhone
My own puppy (a real puppy, preferably a toy poodle, or malteser (toy poodle, maltese cross)
Trashies
A yabbie farm
Proper cooking tools so I can cook yabbies on the barbeque like Uncle Stuart
Good fishing gear and a beach nearby to fish at
A bike and helmet

Harmonie

Rabbits, especially a Mummy and Daddy rabbit who will have lots of baby bunnies for me to look after (Mumma's note to Santa: Illegal in Qld.)
Rabbit hutch
My own dog. Maybe one I can carry in a handbag. I don't really mind. It could be a rescue doggy.
Guinea pigs.
A real pony. And a home for it.
A farm.
Lots of good fishing stuff and a fishing boat.
Trashies and glueys
My own computer
An iPad
A phone so I can talk to Mumma whenever I want
A bike and helmet and maybe a scooter

Now clearly, most of these are not going to happen.

They are either too expensive, cannot happen because I am renting, or because of geography.
Sigh.

So Mumma and Santa are going to have to come up with some Christmas magic again this year.

But this is the thing.

In my days as a young magazine journalist, pre-kids, I remember writing a story with a child psychologist about the harm and confusion that Christmas can do to children.

And I remember feeling this myself as a child.

First, there is the obvious fact that year-round we tell our kids not to talk to strangers, to trust their gut instincts etc, then practically force them to sit on some strange man's lap.

A man we will allow to enter our house and eat our food and drink our milk. But leave presents, which somehow makes it all right. Which is all kinds of wrong, right?

Stay with me here.

Secondly, there is the Not Fair Effect. And I remember that feeling to this day. Being told that Santa comes to kids who are good, Is Not Good.

Because as a child, I remember thinking: 'But I've been really, really good. How come I only get one crappy bible book, and that nasty bully from school got all those toys and a cabbage patch doll? She wasn't good at all! And I was really, really good, and all I got was one present and it was religious one and wasn't fun at all?'

And no one could explain it to me!

So how will I explain to my kids that the nasty kids who play up all the time and talk back to their parents and pick on smaller kids in the playground will get the iPads, and the Skylanders, and the puppies? Even though they haven't been very, very good?

And that my kids, who are freaking awesome (though I accept I am biased), will get very much less?

Where is the Christmas miracle in that?
And yet, I know the kids and I will have a wonderful Christmas. Even though I won't get to celebrate the actual day with them this year. (My turn is next year, such is the the life of a single parent), it doesn't really matter, because we will have our own celebration on Boxing Day.

And to us, Christmas is more than a day, and it is more than presents. There is still a part of me that likes to mark the religious part of things, and they learn this at their school too. We also celebrate the spiritual side and the coming together of family and friends. The festivities, food, and fun.

For all, children, men, women, young, and old, I wish you peace and happiness for December 25.

And at least something to make you believe in miracles.

And may Santa bring you at least something that is on your Wish List.

I'm hanging out for a Nespresso. With or without George Clooney!

One of Chase's first Christmas photos. Santa's little helper!


And this was from last year. The kids have made me join them in every photo they've had taken with Santa! (Maybe that don't talk to strangers thing has sunk in after all!)


8 comments:

Mum on the Run said...

Your perspective on the whole 'Christmas thing' is great.
Your kids are really blessed - in the most important ways.
:-)

Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella said...

Aww that's sweet that they want you in the photo too I think! Not just because Santa is a bit scary!

Kate Sins said...

Oh my, you raise so many things I haven't thought of...and I had no idea there were so many expensive things kids might ask for. Mine are only little so don't really ask for much but I dread some of the things I'm going to have to explain - like why the naughty kids get all the cool presents.

Shar's right - your kids have the best a kid could ever need or want.

Omega said...

I always felt really dodgy about lying to my kids about Santa.. so I just decided not to.

I told my daughter that Santa is an "Avatar" of Christmas. He's a personification of the spirit of Christmas, a way people describe all the good feelings and goodwill that's in the air this time of year.

This explanation was something she totally got - and it meant she got it both ways - she got all the "magic" of Santa, but she also knew the truth of it, and never felt lied to.

She's 14 now and she loves this time of year! My new daughter is only 6 months old but I have no intention of lying to her about it either.

As for presents, well, there was more than one lean year where the only presents I exchanged with her were things we made. Thankfully we are in a better financial position now, but she has never expected a lot.

We live in an affluent suburb, and plenty of her friends are "Sad little rich kids" who wish they had our happy family.

Mrs BC said...

I absolutely agree with the Santa thing - all year we extol stranger danger, & then at Christmas we say Oh go sit on that strange man's knee!
Double standards...

x

Mrs BC said...

Also - does Harmonie still want Guinea Pigs? We have 2 healthy lady guinea pigs that might as well be wall paper around here, & I would love them to go to a new home where they will be loved. You are welcome to the cage as well, although it might need some renovations. Let me know, I don't think you are that far away from me.
x

Ms_MotorbikeNut said...

Right from the start I explained the meaning behind Christmas to my oldest daughter (when she was younger of course).

I explained all about Santa Claus and how its really not about him or presents but about how different religions celebrate different things at that period of time.

We really didnt do Christmas my daughter use to get 2 presents from me and that was it as I knew she would get heaps more from the relations & friends. Plus I was also only a Single Parent's Pension back then, even if I did work she still would have only got 2 presents.

You know what she loved the fact that she didn't feel pressured to keep up with all the new trends & that to be cool with her friends.

In fact some of her friends started telling their parents they didn't want to get much at Christmas.

My husband even loves the idea & its not been passed on down to the step daughter A. A also loves it.

(((( Hugs )))) XXXX Kisses XXXX

MaidInAustralia said...

Awww, those are some awesome thoughts and traditions there. I'm glad I'm not the only one who struggles with the ideas behind a modern Christmas!