Thursday, December 20, 2012

A very wary Christmas



Is it just me, or is there some weird shit going down at the North Pole this year?
 
 Shit being the operative word ...

Doing the annual Christmas present shop this year, we were confronted by this ...
 

A game called Doggie Doo.
 
Innocently sitting amongst the more traditional games like Scrabble and Hungry Hungry Hippos, on the shelves of K-Mart no less, was a game which entreats players to 'feed, poop and scoop'.
 



 
Missy once had a Baby Alive who 'ate, drank and peed', but this is the first toy I've seen to produce actual poo.
 
I shit you not.


 
We were recovering from the shock of the all-pooping doggie-doo game when Harmonie spotted this unfortunate toy.
 
"Mumma, why is the poor baby in handcuffs?" she asked.
 
Sure enough, the doll appeared to have been shackled to her bath.
 
I had no answer so we moved on.
 
Only to be confronted with this:
 
Santa's head on a stick. A little Middle Ages I would have thought?
 
But no, someone, somewhere had decided it would be perfectly acceptable to jam Santa's head on a light pole, all the better to light up at night to delight small children.
 
 
(Yes, of course we bought one!)
 
I decided the book shop might be a safer bet, but flicking through a guide of fun things to do, we spotted this:

 

 
How To Make a Giant Penis.
 
 
 At least that's what it looked like.
 
It was actually supposed to be a volcano.
 
Now we have made plenty of these home-made volcanos before, and although they are hideously messy and hilarious fun, they have never turned out like this. Nor have we felt moved to jam a carrot next to it, all the better to enhance the resemblance to a part of the male anatomy.
 
After all the excitement, I needed to go home and have a Cup Of Tea and a Good Lie Down.
 
Doesn't anyone make normal presents anymore?
 


1 comment:

Not Quite Nigella said...

Yep no that's definitely a giant penis!!