Tuesday, November 5, 2013

The gift for the person with everything - including gas!

We love a good fart joke at Chez MIA.
Chase once had a fart pen shaped like a finger. He took great delight carrying it around with him, asking people to 'pull my finger'. And when they did, the pen would emit one of several horrible-sounding farts.
It actually went off once in the middle of Big W, when I needed a pen to write a message down with. Everyone looked at me.
Oh how the kids laughed...
Anyway, someone shared the following product on Facebook and I cracked up laughing at some of the reviews. We all know gas and bowel problems can actually be a serious matter, so I'm not making fun at people with a genuine need for these aids.
But I never knew these items existed, and I just know of so many people (thinking of a few males of my acquaintance), who could  use some of these pads.Imagine the embarrassment they could save.

These Flatulence Deodorisers come in packs of ten, and are disposable charcoal pads that you wear inside of your undies (they are only shown worn on the outside here for illustration purposes.)  You can also buy pads, thong disposables, and chair pads.

"End your fear and embarrassment when in public with Flat-D Flatulence Deodorizer," the sales spiel goes. "When intestinal gas is expelled the flatulence filter pad absorbs the gas odor normally associated with the gassy discharge or flatus."

I can almost see the infomercial now. 

The reviews are priceless.

Here is one:

So these absolutely work, but maybe too well. When you fart there is no smell and eventually they train you to just fart your heart out. Well the other day I was in a client meeting and forgot to put a pad in my underwear. Oops, I let a massive silent heat bomb out and the room cleared out faster then I could say, "who farted?" Good product, but keep in mind if you forget to put one on, people will smell your gas. 


My flatulence would come uncontrollably, usually in the sound of a high pitched owl "hoo". These underpads have given me my life back! Not only do they mask any smell, they muffle the "hoo's". On the occasion where my flatulence makes a "normal" flatulence sound, like when sitting in chairs, I've found that you can still silence them if you place both your hands about one inch away from the rectum bilaterally and giving traction to spread the anus open. Thank you Flat-D for the confidence to date again

And one more for good luck ...

I farted several times today and no one even knew!!! I even tried to smell them by bending down where my rear was immediately after I ripped one, and to my surprise, nothing! The only down side is that it doesn't of muffle the sound of the farts, and isn't very absorbent.

What is the funniest product you've seen for sale recently?


Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella said...

OMG that is hilarious. Is that product real? :o

Char said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this morning's uncontrollable belly laugh. Those reviews! I may have laughed so much that a little bit of flatus was forced out. Am now seriously considering purchasing a pair.

Unknown said...

I can't believe someone hadn't thought of this wonderful product sooner!