He and I have so much in common.
Yes, there's more to the Deppster than looks, loins, and his knack with a pirate hat. (Okay and awesome acting skills).
As Australia, America, and the rest of the world pretty much found out recently, Johnny and his wife Amber Heard love a pampered pooch as much as I do. In fact, they love two of them, Pistol and Boo.
So much so, they tried to 'Do a Depp' (I coined that term, You're welcome).
Yes, the celebs tried to smuggle the pair into Australia, in defiance of our strict quarantine laws, via a handbag.
And they would have been successful too, if it hadn't been for those
Poor doggies. Poor Johnny.
You see, Lucy is a lap dog in every sense of the word. If she's not on my lap, she's beside it, snuggled in as close as can be. If she's not on my lap or in my bed, she's cuddling with somebody else. With my permission, of course!
Now the kids aren't here full-time, she's with me all the time.
I could be posh and call Lucy a designer dog. If I google her, I'm entitled to call her a Pomchi or Chiranian. But really, that sounds wanky.
In non-wanky terms, she is a chihuahua-pomeranian cross. Mini-sized. That means she's about the size of a small guinea pig, but a hell of a lot smarter. And she doesn't leave lots of tiny poos everywhere. Well, most of the time. (Apologies to guinea pig owners.).
She's always travelled with us wherever possible, and that has become even more important now it's just the two of us.
And because Lucy has a delightful personality, she seems to win fans wherever she goes. She is a welcome guest when we visit friends and family, and unlike many small dogs, she is not snappy or yappy. The worst she will do is lick you, or snuggle with you within an inch of your life.
So the last time I went to Brisbane for an appointment with one of my specialists, Lucy gave me one of her impossible-to-resist looks, and I decided to take her with me at the last minute. She doesn't mind a road trip, my Lucy.
Usually my neighbour or a friend looks after her, but I was staying with a friend whose daughters had begged me to bring Lucy on my next visit to the city so I knew it would be okay.
We had time for a walk along the river to blow off the stress of the drive before my appointment ...
So I decided to do a social experiment and see if anyone actually noticed if I took her with me.
Luckily, Lucy fits perfectly into a handbag, and like I said, she's a well-behaved, clean little girl.
Dog in a handbag
Not at the reception at the hospital, not at the doctor's rooms. No one noticed, from the cleaner vacuuming noisily near us, nor the other patients, as we all waited. No one noticed as I went to the bathroom, refilled my water bottle, took a photo (now that was difficult - if only dogs could take selfie) and fiddled with my phone.
Of course the doctor was running late, so that posed an even great challenge. What if Lucy needed to poo or wee, and did something horrid in my favourite handbag?
Eventually, my doctor called me in.
We were about halfway through my appointment, and I'd even shed a few tears, when my phone, also in my handbag, started vibrating. Lucy didn't like that, so she started moving a bit and showed herself.
Finally, my doctor saw Lucy, and started laughing.
"Oh my God," he said. "What is that?" (I know. How rude!)
Luckily, it was all good. (I had seen people bringing puppies into the hospital before so I had a feeling it would be okay if I was sprung. And to be fair, he's paid to observe me, not my handbag. I was more weirded out that the hospital has all kinds of security measures in place, but no one noticed I was carrying a concealed weapon in my bag. Kinda.)
My doctor is a psychiatrist and he said if it was the difference between seeing me and not seeing me, he was fine with me bringing my dog. But perhaps, not to make a habit of it. Or if I did, to do the handbag trick again. And he enjoyed meeting part of my 'treatment plan'. After all, Lucy help keeps me happy and gives me a reason to get up in the morning. Even on the darkest of days.
Later, Lucy spent a pleasant night being fussed over by my friend's daughters and playing with their cat. She loves kids and desperately misses mine/ours, so surrogate kids are always a hit.
We were talked into staying another night so Lucy could help collect the girls from school the next day, including meeting their friends and teachers, and going for a walk on the waterfront at sunset.
Lucy's first visit to the waterfront, with surrogate kids
She even went to the local pizza takeaway shop and was made a huge fuss of by all the patrons.
Lucy was treated like a rock star when she helped fetch this spinach and fetta wood-fired pizza
"Does Lucy get treated like a star wherever she goes?" one of my friend's daughters said.
Yes. Yes she does.
I can't go out with Lucy without people fussing over her, asking questions, and wondering where they can get a dog like her. Then there are the jokes. "My dog could eat your dog for lunch," owners of big dogs will say. "Oh how cute! How old?' Others will ask. And be amazed that she is fully grown. And I could have sold her puppies a hundred times.
(Sadly - or perhaps sensibly - we decided to get Lucy desexed. We felt it would be cruel to put such a tiny dog through a pregnancy).
Lucy has so many adventures, I've decided to set up her own Facebook and Twitter accounts.
Lucy knows how to smell out good coffee for me. She was disappointed there weren't any yowies though. At Kilcoy, #sqcountry #roadtrip
Not barking at ducks at the Yowie Pond at Kilcoy, #sqcountry #roadtrip
I'll even supply the handbag.
Postscript: I love animals, and I love Australia. I don't condone celebrities or anyone breaking our strict quarantine laws, which are there for a reason. I do wonder why the famous pooches couldn't have been put into quarantine, as horrid as that is, to allow them to stay? Although by the time quarantine was over, perhaps filming would have ended. I have friends who paid a small fortune to bring their pets to Australia when they moved here (whether temporarily or permanently). And there are those who have house and/or petsitters, paid or otherwise, to look after their furry kids at home when they travel. If you live in Australia, Aussie House Sitters is a great website to start looking.